What's more boring?

What's more boring? This guy to your left with his 22 year tiptoe through the rainforest or watching are pathetic offense? There have been years when I thought we just outright blew offensively, but this year takes the proverbial cake. This weekend we match up with the number one run defense in the SEC, and judging by our rushing performances against Alabama, Auburn, and Georgia, we are in deep doo-doo. Whether Garcia, Smelly, or grouchy can combine for more points than Eric Berry is this weeks' burning question and frankly Tennessee's only hope. Wait a minute.....that play to Denarius Moore is our only other good offensive play. Maybe we can trick em' by running Arian Foster on a reverse, or perhaps we can learn to check off at the line of scrimmage so as not to have a roll-out on a corner blitz.

Whatever that mastermind Clawson comes up with, I'm sure we'll see plenty of shots panning over to Fulmer clapping his hands, wincing in pain, or the new gesture - his hat pulled down over his face.

Come Saturday, it may be Spurrier that puts the final nail in the coffin of Fulmer's tenure. Surely no you say, but the way it's been going for him this year, that would certainly be apropos. With that said, I'll be cheering for them as always, as I'm a glutton for punishment....otherwise I wouldn't be workin' like heck on this blog for all to enjoy.

CLEAN HOUSE!!!

I can't say it any simpler. This disjointed, offensive offense is the worst since I've been alive, and I'm starting to get plenty long in the tooth. Our decision making regarding who is the game has been atrocious; we've returned 10 starters from last year to lay in the lap of Clawson, and he just plain SUCKS. We half-heartedly go after the best player from Alcoa last year, and now he looks like the only player Kentucky has that's a playmaker. Unfreakingbelievable. Brandon Warren looks like he's lost, yet Cobb at Kentucky can successfully be their best at two positions? Unfriggincanny. We've ponied-up to put some lipstick on Neyland Stadium, so now let's pony-up and hire a dadgum good coaching staff. Screw you too Majors if you're starting to enjoy this.

Dissin' the Tide

Alabama, the old establishment of the South, has found new blood. Their atrocities are too numerous for me to mention everyone, but let's not forget them playing with illegal players or fat linemen that cost 200 grand. They use the excuse that they have been hurt by probation for the last 20 years as to why they haven't been up to their own standard, but let's imagine all the players in the 70's, 80's, and 90's that they had when money came rolling in. Racketeering U has been at it a long time. You can't be an open braggart any longer these days about paying for players or giving them $100 handshakes just as you can't be an open klansman in Alabama anymore without getting a few FBI officials on your tail - I think. Well, in Alabama, maybe you can, but nowhere else except maybe Mississippi.

Nick Satan has arrived and restored much needed discipline to their program, but I'm not convinced he's squeaky clean as Michigan State was one of the schools on Albert Means list until the very end. Saban has been proven to be a bold-faced liar and just a general douche to his fellow coaches, but somehow they win wherever he goes, until....he leaves. It will be tough for him to cough up $4 mil unless he gets tired of living in the sticks or he gets a better offer from another pro team that has any talent whatsoever. It looks like for the foreseeable future that they may have a pretty good situation, especially if Obama starts handing out freebies to the poor...maybe they will dress the place outside the campus up a little bit. While driving from Montgomery to Tuscaloosa years ago on business, I got to see Alabama the beautiful in all its' glory; even the black folks had yard jockeys in front of their trailers.

Even with all the hatred that I have for the bammers, I can't help feel bad for them for some things. After all, anytime Hollywood needs to throw in a hick, rebel, redneck, ignorant, uneducated, mouth-breathing inbred, they use their mobile sets to travel to either Alabama or West Virginia. Heck, they can't even claim Lynard Skynard....their from Jacksonville. I even feel sorry for Bear Bryant. Just when you think your resting in peace in the afterlife, Logan Young comes along and starts jock-sniffing you again. The third Saturday in October is always fun to look forward to, and as bad as we can't stand em', this rivalry is one of the nation's best. Let's work like heck and kick some Tide ass. GO VOLS!!!

Go Vols.

BAMA comes to town

No talk of illegal players, no talk about subpoenas, no talk of mass cheating from Tide boosters....the only talk has been about how dominant Alabama's offensive and defensive lines have been this year so far. With a number two ranking and a weasel of a coach, the elephants rumble into town looking to lay the smack down on Fulmer in his farewell parade. One can only imagine what that mastermind Clawson is thinking now that Alabama is missing its' all-american to be fat noseman. I'll bet he has a special package for Josh McNeil in the works as we speak, and we all know how well those packages work (remember Eric Locke); I know the tuskers do.

In all seriousness, a victory for Alabama might be bittersweet in that it further spells the demise of Fulmer. They can act on the radio and message boards like they hate him worse than Madonna hates Palin, but let's face it, they would hate anybody in Orange on the sidelines. The same way we gave encouraging words toward them with the brilliance of bringing in Shula to clean up their mess, some of them that I've heard on the radio are trying to prop up Phil to keep him in Neyland...notwithstanding all the blame they give him for their past struggles.

Be that as it may, it may be worth it to ante up to hire the right man. It sure looks like it has worked for them. Their fans are as giddy as Ben Aflleck and Matt Damon sitting on Obama's knee playing "ride a little pony". The attention of Saban's enormous salary has been supplanted by their successful start, and it probably helps that now everyone's turning their attention to other colossal wastes of salaries of companies like AIG and Fannie Mae. They make Saban look like a begger at I-40 and Lovell road. Who needs a personality when your that rich anyway? As streaky as this series has been over time, I don't like the trend lines I'm seeing on this chart, but maybe our loyal leader has one more trick up his extra large sleeve and can at least dash the national championship hopes of Bama on his way out. That might be almost enough for our fans to forgive him for the past four or five years.

COACHES

I've been thinking about our soured coaching quandry that we find ourselves in today. Everybody's got an opinion on our coaching situation, and I think the talk shows have worn most of us out listening to caller after caller's take on the subject. I was thinking about our coaches in a different way the other day. What got me thinking about it was our long lasting tenures with two coaches at here at Tennessee. It brought to mind an analogy that kept growing in my mind the more I thought about it - coaches are like girlfriends.

I'll speak for myself in saying this: I have loved Fulmer for a long time, but now I must spurn him. He's the girlfriend you've had for a long time. Sure, she was hot at first, but now she says the same thing time and time again and she has packed on the pounds. All you hear on his show is blah, blah, blah....just like when you're trying to blog when your girlfriend's trying to bend your ear. She's been loyal to you and you to her, but just like no SEC championships in 10 years, you've grown tired of her and finally decided it's time to cut bait while you're still young. Besides, all your best friends have started dating new hot girls...some of them even unconventional and even with more expensive tastes than yours. There's a new breed of girlfriends in the league from the demanding(Saban) to the goodie two-shoes(Richt).

Chavis is like the fat girl that you succomb to when you're not very dashing or charasmatic yourself. Sure, she's got good qualities like a sense of humor, or an aire of culture, but she's not going to be courted by anyone else. She'll be solid when you hit tough times offensively, but just when you think she may be the one, she plays too loose and gets you beat on 4th and long.

Cutcliffe was like the girl you liked more when you broke up with her than when you dated her. After pining for the good ole days when she was there every time you turned around, you've realized she's not very good looking and quite frankly, dull. Now, your not happy again and found yourself wondering why you took her back in the first place. She spiced up your life briefly after getting rid of that Sanders chick that was not quite all there mentally, but you are not going to loose any sleep over her this time. Good riddance and hope you have a good life with those rich, smart boys over in Raleigh.

Clawson's like the hot, new girl that came into town over the summer and you're like "wow, I think I could really date her", only to find that she's not up to speed with even your girlfriends of the past. You feel bad about it, but let's face it...she's only a one-night stand.

Coach Pearl's like the girlfriend that you are crazy about, and can't wait to show off to your friends. She may be a little to wild for your family, but she's got a rocking bod, and all the other teams out there are giving her flowers and inclinations of gifts to make her theirs. It's gone great so far, and the season's just around the corner, but you're always waiting for the other shoe to fall. Even her being jewish hasn't kept you from believing that could convert her to be a good protestant girl. Sure, you have to pay an arm and a leg, but you are willing and so is she.

Coach Summitt is the girl that you would date....well, let's be serious with ourselves, you wouldn't. You don't go that way. Not that there's anything wrong with it, but you just don't like girl's basketball.

With all that said, we will have scars from breaking up with our girlfriend; we'll lose wait, won't leave the house for a while, watch basketball, and keep an eye out for the next belle of Tennessee.

Whatever Happended To The Days Of Excitement ?

Remember the days when Tennessee use to have an exciting offense ? The Vols could strike from anywhere on the field. Where have those times gone ? Tennessee was not always good during the late 70's till the present, but they were usually entertaining during those times. Not this year! Not only is Tennessee bad, but they border on being about unwatchable this year! This offense is the most pathetic I have ever seen at Tennessee and we totally lack creativity in call playing.

If you are going to stink, at least be fun to watch ( ex. Hal Mumme/ Kentucky ). The Vols are neither fun to watch, or creative this year and that adds up to being 2-4and fighting for your lives on Saturday. Oh, how far the program has fallen and is falling. I know that football is only a game, but I do remember when there was great pride in K-town and throughout the Volunteer state on game day , and I miss those times. We have become an apathetic fan base and we are missing the excitement that is usually present this time of the year. I hope we can bring back those times when it was exciting to be a Volunteer. We deserve better!

Please Lets Get This Over...

This season is the most pathetic I have ever seen as a Vol fan in my lifetime! We are poorly coached, and out schemed every weekend. Not to mention the total lack of discipline! Tennessee constantly gives up third and long plays that would get our defense off the field, and we continue to make the same stupid penalties week in and week out. What about evaluating the talent on hand presently? Forget it! Remember it took our genius coaching staff four games into the season to figure out that maybe Crompton was not our q.b.?

You have to be kidding? Unfortunately, I am not. This is the most unlikable Tennessee team in my years of watching the Vols, and I dont " need to watch the film " to know that coach Fulmer! It is time to put this era to a rest, and move on to the future. Coach, thanks for what you have done, and we as Vol fans appreciate your efforts. You have,and will be compensated very well for you efforts. The fact remains it is time for a change that we can believe in ( Obama reference )!

Tennessee will rise again in the SEC and the nation, but the process has to play out , and it will not be pretty I'm afraid for a period of time, but all programs go through these periods , and this our time. Either Tennessee can stay the course, or they can make change? I vote for change!

Between The Hedges

Once again it is the Vols and the Dawgs in what will amount to an elimination game in the SEC East ( even though we are most likely already eliminated ). On paper , Georgia definitely has the advantage, but in this series you never know. Remember last year? Tennessee came limping into that game and the Dawgs were riding high! Tennessee won 35-14!

Tennessee and Georgia has been a streaky series over the last twenty years or so. Go back to the debut of a guy named Herschel Walker in 1980 in the win over Tennessee when Walker ran for 87 yards in the second half for a 16-15 win over the Vols. The next year Georgia beat Tennessee 44-0 in Athens. The Vols would begin to even things up in 1989, a year after Georgia won their third straight against the Vols to open up the 1988 season ( that would start 0-6 ). Tennesse won that game in 89 and, then began to go on a streak of their own in 92,93,94,95,96,97,98,99!

The streak came to an end in 2000 in Athens and Georgia began a streak of their own with victories in 2000,01,02,03. Tennesee and Georgia almost mirror each other with results and fan expectations every season! What a great rivalry!

Let's get ready for the 08 game between these two storied programs, and even though on paper this looks like a mismatch, remember 1992, a 34-31 Vol victory. Never give up hope!

Vandy

Give the Dore's some credit this year ( even though I despise them )! Bobby Johnson has Vandy playing at perhaps the greatest level of play since 1982, when Whit Taylor was the Dore's q.b., and they actually went to a bowl game ( that was their last appearance in the post season ). This year seems to be the year of the commodores, and their fans that proclaim to be " geeks " instead of athletes! Okay, we will call them scholars.

The bottom line is that Vandy is finally getting it done on the football field, and not just the classroom. This is better than you can say for the Tennessee football program presently. Bobby Johnson/ Steve Martin has done a terrific job at a program that is not anywhere close to the level of Tennessee in tradition, talent, and budget!

The Dore's have the best team in the state of Tennessee currently, and that will tell you all you need to know about the state of the Vol program right now!

Georgia on my mind

I've been to Sanford stadium on a couple of occasions and found it very satisfying both times. Their fans, albeit obnoxious, live with the same high hopes and low expectations that we've come to be familiar with. In 98' they were sure that they were going to hand us and our backup tailback a crushing defeat. With my wife asleep on the bleachers of the Georgia student section, I cheered in disbelief that we were spanking them. I knew exactly what they were feeling. We had the same thing happen to us the previous year when Florida rolled into town and hung 35 straight points on us. We both can't stand success, and the fans are left thiking we are just a "what if" away from another national championship. I feel for them, like I do with us, but it makes me somewhat pleased when I see them suffer like they did against Bama. Count on them to blow either the Florida or Auburn game as well.

With all that said, they are extremely talented this year and should roll all over us. Their speed is evident, their freshmen are impressive, and their quarterback has one of the best arms in the country. Still, we've been undermanned severely before down there and come out with a win or at least a fighting chance to win. James Banks ran around like an Irishman in a liquor store one year, when we didn't have chance to beat em' at all.

Can Phil come out with a most improbable win this weekend, or does the "workin like heck" seat cushion continue to get hotter for him?

Tennessee Tailbacks

Put Arian Fosters butt on the bench! I am so sick and tired of watching this guy! He is pitifully slow, and runs very timid between the tackles! Yet, he is in line to become the Vols all time leading ground gainer? What is up with that?

Please put in Creer, Hardesty, or Poole before you give another hand off to Foster!
He may be a terrific guy, but he surely is not your best tailback? The fans can see how obvious this, but why can't the coaches not pick up on this? We were right about Stephens at q.b, so trust us on this one coach, and give the other backs some more carries! "You did not get stupid all of the sudden", this has been coming for a long time!

Play the best talent regardless of seniority, and see what happens! As a Vol fan , I am tired of watching us waste talent year after year, and making lame excuses as to why the best players are not on the field. Coach, we are not as stupid as you think might think we are! It actually might be time to listen to the "common fan" a little more, because there have been many times that we have been right, regardless of what you think. I know that we have better options at the tailback position in Creer who is averaging 8.9 yards per carry this year! I don't even have to be a head coach at a major D-1 level school to figure that one out!

Please, take the fans advice this time, and give the ball to someone other than #27 and let's see what happens? You might be surprised at the results. Remember 1997 with Jamal Lewis taking over for Mark Levine? Us, "common fans" Remember, and we were right! And we are this time!

The Remainer Of The Schedule Predictions

Georgia: Forget about any upset win in Athens. The Dawgs are balanced on offense, and they will control the football the entire game. This will not be close! The payback from last years loss will only add gas to the fire!

Miss. State: A possible win against an offense that may be as bad as the Vols. The Bulldogs play good defense and are always very physical. Not a guarantee win by any means, but still might be the Vols best shot in the SEC this year for a win.

Alabama: The most physical team in the SEC will show the Vols why they are the most physical team in the league. Bama, Will line up, and run over top of the Vols all day long. Parker Wilson has progressed enough to make the Tide multidimensional.

South Carolina: Phillip Fulmer versus Steve Spurrier. You guess the outcome?

Wyoming: Thank the Lord for the woeful Cowboys.

Vandy : It is a sign for the end of times when the best college football is being played in Nashville. I still think this might be a Vol victory. God bless George Cafego,who has to be in heaven asking the Lord why do you have to have this kind of sense of humor? Coach, I know you will be watching this one!

Kentucky: Twenty Four straight wins since 1984, but this might be the year the streak ends! The Vols have been very fortunate in the last two!

Gameday

Hold back on your excitement for the Tennessee v.s. Northern Illinois game! I know this is the game you have been waiting for all year long. The Vols at 1-3 takes on the Huskies from the MAC at 2-2. I can hardly wait!

The anticipation builds, as we get to find out if Tennessee truly is this bad in in the 2008 campaign? The answer may become brutally true tonight. Northern Illinois is not that bad of a team and the Huskies have surprised Alabama and Maryland in the past. If the Vols sleepwalk tonight, they may be next.

Tennessee is simply not good enough to overlook any team this year! So get ready for another close game, that might be contested till the final whistle of the fourth quarter. Man, how times have changed. Just ten years ago Tennessee was on top of the college football world, and now we are hoping against hope to turn things around.

Another sign that Armageddon may soon be coming is that Vandy is hosting gameday before their game with Auburn tonight in Nashville. I know the end of times is coming soon when this occurs! I think that is in Revelations somewhere?

Just Shut Up Johnny

He's Baaaaaaccck!!! I am talking about king Johnny ( Majors ). You knew he would be after the Vols poor start this year. Johnny could not help himself this week when talking with Huntsville, Alabama q.b. club, but to take another verbal stab at coach Fulmer. King Johnny made a comment that John Chavis has saved Fulmers rear end the last ten years or he would have been fired a long time ago!

Please, Johnny just go away! Take your bitterness and self righteous attitude with you! I know why the state of Alabama welcomes you with open arms, because they owned you during your days at the Tennessee helm! Get over yourself! For you revisionist of history that think Majors was a great coach, remember he won only won one outright SEC championship in his tenure ( Florida was ineligible once and we shared two ).

It has been sixteen years since Majors ouster, and the Vol nation has made every attempt to reach out to Johnny, but he continues to put himself above the program and hold on to the bitterness. Sure, it could have been handled better and should have been handled better, but the fact remains , Johnny is all about Johnny!

It is sad that in his aging years that Johnny is unable to enjoy his alma mater and the great times that he has enjoyed over the years at UT. Instead, he has chosen to hang on to the bitterness and to point his finger anytime he has the opportunity. I'm sure the Bama fans will welcome Johnny in their state anytime! Why not? I am sure they miss the good ole days of kicking his behind on a yearly basis! Johnny you can go marching away from K-town as far as I am concerned. I WILL TAKE TRUE VOLUNTEERS!

Crompton Versus Stephens

What do you do now? The debate rages in big orange country whether to start Jonathan Crompton or Nick Stephens at q.b. this Saturday against Northern Illinois. I believe that Tennessee will go with Stephens based on the performance of Crompton thus far into the 2008 campaign. What do you have to lose? Give the ball to Stephens and see if the " gunslinger " can do anything with the Volunteer offense that has been anemic so far in 08!

Do whatever you have to do in order to make the offense at least somewhat dangerous! Play Stephens,or line up Gerald Jones at q.b. more often, or let B.J Coleman have his shot at the q.b. position. The bottom line is Tennessee must try something different in order to try to ignite a very stale offense!

The Northern Illinois game is the perfect time to try to institute change within the program for the remainder of the 08 season. Lets hope that the change will bring about positive results for the rest of the year! The year is one third over and Tennessee must regroup in a big way to salvage anything of this year!

I believe we have seen enough of Crompton thus far in 08 , and it is time to hand over the duties to Stephens, at least for this game and see what he can do! Surely, it cannot get any worse!

Love Me Hate Me?

Some of you would like to see good ole Phil fall by the wayside, but how many would like to see us go from a winner to a loser this year to justify his ousting? At 6 and 6, he gets the Hammy boot, but if we're 7 amd 5, he lives to see another day. Yes, we've missed on some big recruits in the past ala Jabari Davis, OJ Ownes, and Jon Crompton, but he still has sweat equity built into winning with Casey and "the future" let alone our outstanding 98 season when Rodney Garner was our MVP.

I FEEL SORRY FOR THE ROTUND LEADER in that his hand is tied to the leader of our putrid offense. Granted, it ultimately falls on his shoulders for not recruiting better replacements, but I do indeed feel bad for big Phil. All you Fulmer haters, you can shut up now, we're all on the same page. We know this program needs repair and it ain't coming this year or the next. We are entering the Battle years, as we can only hope for a Saban-like return to glory. Let's all suck on a rotten big orange as this is going to be a long process of getting over a coach that has rested on his laurels and hardy appetite for talented playmakers that have carried him for far too long.

We need a new coach with strong recruiting ties that can carry us into the new century to compete and win titles. The only thing we're not good at is chick gymnnastics, only because we don't care enough yet.

Kiffen might be a fit here, but only if Hammy has the stones to approach him early and often to make it a possibility. We don't want a Paterno/Bowden program that simply waits for them die approach, we want a friggin winner! Don't give me some west-coast sissy offense, I want a knuckles in yo mouth offense that lashes opponents with sheer brutality and overwhelmingy intimidation. I'm convinced we can beat the gators of the world in quick fashion if we have the Saban mentality instead of hiring the coordinator who has the cutest offense to date.

I know this is against all that is right and correct in today's world, but I would play the players that give us the best opportunity to win right dadgum now. That means sitting #27's butt on the bench in favor for Hardesty and Creer. You think any pro coach would agree? I hate to disparage any player, but we have a few that I really think would be better suited for the rugby club. If you fumble in rugby, they would at least blame drinking 2 quarts of keg beer for your fumbleiits.

Here's a big thumbs up for the Vols beating the Huskies and for the Vols finding out what ails us. Also, here's a big thumb's up for one of you loyal readers of WLH, coming up for a suitable replacement for the regime we have now.

NO GAME IS AN AUTOMATIC WIN

Tennessee plays host to Northern Illinois this Saturday, and I know even though the season has been an utter disaster thus far, few believe that the Huskies can beat even the worst of Tennessee teams.

A quick look back in the history books of Tennessee football says otherwise! Remember the 1996 Memphis game loss 21-17? Tennessee was led that day by Peyton Manning at q.b. What about the infamous Rutgers game in 1979 and the 13-7 loss. Ben Byrd who wrote for the now defunct Knoxville Journal newspaper wrote the day before the game a column about " what is a Rutgers? " The Vols found out that answer on a bleak November day. How about asking Bill Battle about the 1975 game against North Texas State? Tennessee lost that day 21-14! Many Vol faithful believe that to still be the most embarrassing loss in Tennessee football history! In 1982, Tennessee lost to a woeful Duke team to open the season 25-24.

The bottom line is that upsets happen all the time and Tennessee is not immune to any of those upset bugs, especially this year when your offense is dreadful and you lack a lot confidence. Do not tell me that Northern Illinois does not have a chance on Saturday. We have seen "black Saturday " a few times over the years.