COACHES

I've been thinking about our soured coaching quandry that we find ourselves in today. Everybody's got an opinion on our coaching situation, and I think the talk shows have worn most of us out listening to caller after caller's take on the subject. I was thinking about our coaches in a different way the other day. What got me thinking about it was our long lasting tenures with two coaches at here at Tennessee. It brought to mind an analogy that kept growing in my mind the more I thought about it - coaches are like girlfriends.

I'll speak for myself in saying this: I have loved Fulmer for a long time, but now I must spurn him. He's the girlfriend you've had for a long time. Sure, she was hot at first, but now she says the same thing time and time again and she has packed on the pounds. All you hear on his show is blah, blah, blah....just like when you're trying to blog when your girlfriend's trying to bend your ear. She's been loyal to you and you to her, but just like no SEC championships in 10 years, you've grown tired of her and finally decided it's time to cut bait while you're still young. Besides, all your best friends have started dating new hot girls...some of them even unconventional and even with more expensive tastes than yours. There's a new breed of girlfriends in the league from the demanding(Saban) to the goodie two-shoes(Richt).

Chavis is like the fat girl that you succomb to when you're not very dashing or charasmatic yourself. Sure, she's got good qualities like a sense of humor, or an aire of culture, but she's not going to be courted by anyone else. She'll be solid when you hit tough times offensively, but just when you think she may be the one, she plays too loose and gets you beat on 4th and long.

Cutcliffe was like the girl you liked more when you broke up with her than when you dated her. After pining for the good ole days when she was there every time you turned around, you've realized she's not very good looking and quite frankly, dull. Now, your not happy again and found yourself wondering why you took her back in the first place. She spiced up your life briefly after getting rid of that Sanders chick that was not quite all there mentally, but you are not going to loose any sleep over her this time. Good riddance and hope you have a good life with those rich, smart boys over in Raleigh.

Clawson's like the hot, new girl that came into town over the summer and you're like "wow, I think I could really date her", only to find that she's not up to speed with even your girlfriends of the past. You feel bad about it, but let's face it...she's only a one-night stand.

Coach Pearl's like the girlfriend that you are crazy about, and can't wait to show off to your friends. She may be a little to wild for your family, but she's got a rocking bod, and all the other teams out there are giving her flowers and inclinations of gifts to make her theirs. It's gone great so far, and the season's just around the corner, but you're always waiting for the other shoe to fall. Even her being jewish hasn't kept you from believing that could convert her to be a good protestant girl. Sure, you have to pay an arm and a leg, but you are willing and so is she.

Coach Summitt is the girl that you would date....well, let's be serious with ourselves, you wouldn't. You don't go that way. Not that there's anything wrong with it, but you just don't like girl's basketball.

With all that said, we will have scars from breaking up with our girlfriend; we'll lose wait, won't leave the house for a while, watch basketball, and keep an eye out for the next belle of Tennessee.